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mua happy pills.
i just realised i always blog only when im sad, angry, bored or anything not close to positive.
but not today k :P

today will be stressly post. got that word not?
i realised that ive been doing either maths or chem revision only these days.
how about basic micro and cell bio?
DEAD.
im scared. dead fucking scared la for the exams.
:((((((
i wanna cry already.
i need a tutor to teach me maths. actually shady can teach me cause he already learn differentiation.
but that ass dont even pay attention to class and he cant teach me already,
he even cheated for his class test!
LOL.
pukat abis.

anyways, thanks to used-to-be-toyol for being my study partner.
and shady yang nak belajar at my crib, we end up watching movies 2 days straight.
wtf. you ah. bad distraction!

anyhoo, i wanna thank lin, ael, shanks, syameen, nini, koko's owner, and especially shady for being there for me.
even though you dont know the real story, you tried helping me.
and i really appreciate that.

thank you shanks for being there all the time even though 90% of you being there was to scold me.
thanks lin for trying to understand walaupun kau tak tau pape, aku tau kau blur.
thanks ael. :P
thanks shady for the company, for calling me late in the morning when i texted you,
thank you for coming down and just crapping with me.
thanks for treating us to free macdonalds. alaaa mat mat riders. dapat free!
I KAN PRINCESS.

for now, lagu ni yang buat aku :DD
MENJENG~

seratus persen cintakuuuuuu,
hei hei hei hanya untukmuuuuuuu,
seratus persen cintakuuuuuuuuuuu,
hei hei hei hanyalah untukmu,

jujur ku akui,
kamu yang paling ok,
cintaku seratus persen!

100%!
I LOVE NUMBER 14.
:D

i went school for 1 hour and 15 minutes only just now.
and i had to wake up at 6.15 because of it.
FML.

anyways, syafiq sexy looked quite sexy today.
there was this point of time in the lift when he was talking,
he really like look like edward cullen siaaaa. as in robert pattinson.
no joke. as in the height, the posture all that la, the hair abit also.
damn sialzx i feel like dejavu for awhile.
Lol. had a dream that i was going out with edward mah!

And,
i really feel bad la.
please dont do this to me.
you can ask shanky how i really feel right now.
its the same way she feels about meh.
just that, i didnt dislike you like how shanky dislike meh.
its because of what i know that made it so hard.
i wish it didnt have to end like this.

shoo. enough said already or i'll get stressed up.
i need to focus for my sems now!!!!
ARGH. GPA GO HIGHER PLEASE.

i miss you, miss you so bad,
i wont forget you, oh its so sad.
i hope you can hear me,
i can remember it clearly.

the day you slipped away.

I was wrong when i said I was strong.

AND I JUST REALISED I DIDNT EVEN ______ FOR MORE THAN A YEAR ALREADY!!!!!!

i was jumping up and down.
PROUD OF MYSELF.
GOD, am i Good or what?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll leave for now.
not much i can say here.
goodbye.

i wanted to meet shady just now.
at times like this, i need him to bombard me with all his rants that will make me sad,
but somehow it will make me stronger.
But i didnt get to meet him cause he was at town.
=.='

Shady, maybe i didnt get to say this when I could before,
Thank you for being there for me when I really need someone to advice me.
The difference between you and the rest whose there was,
your advices was straightforward and harsh,
but true. while the others were cheering me up and consoling me,
he did the other way round.
Irrits tapi trues.
so, Thank You once againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn darling.



okeh i is bored.
goodbye.

thank you for explaining yourself.
and for the chocolates.

and mum keep asking me to ask bring you over.
she wants to meet you.
it made my heart sink,
cause when she saw the letter you gave me,
she kept asking me whats wrong,
and i have no answers to give her.
and she keep asking me to share.

she told me to be patient, even though she dont know whats going on.
and somehow, it made me realise that i should just forget about what happened.

and just when i was enjoying my ice cream,
Ihsan emerged from the crowd with a girl,
and i said " fuck. ihsan's here."
and then he just stared helplessly and smiled at me.
Mum said, that one is a big no no.

Sigh.
anyways,

anyways pete,
i've forgive you.
and i really miss you.
and i dont want to make you wait any longer.
i just dont like to do that cause i know how it feels.
come back to me.

this is for you.
i took it from pernicious' tumblr. so credits to him.

thank you and have a good night.
and a great weekend.

For the meantime, i'll be blogging on my private one.
there's just too much to say,
and i cant say everything here.

ask if you want to read.
if im nice, i'll let you.

i always tell myself not to repeat the same mistake i ever did.
however, some of them weren't achieved.
i always tell myself i never start something to break it.
you came into my mind today.
and yes, i wished that you would have told me the truth.
instead of lying your way,
and there i was believing every single sentence you've said,
but most of all.. i wished that we were real.
at least i know, my feelings for you were real.
i had always wished to bring you home and tell my parents,
this man is the one i honour, the one i respect,
the one i want to spend the rest of my life with.
but you never gave me that chance.

i wish you'd knew me better.


i cheer myself up,
by telling myself,
everything happens for a reason.

:)

i showed mummy your pictures and she went,
"Handsomenye dierrrrrr! "
aawwwhhh!

bye world.







baby, this is for you.

this little thing called love.
its bugging me.

theres you in my everyday life,
even though you're not around 24/7,
you never slipped off my mind.

ok back off for awhile now and let me tell you my monday!
monday was okay.
class starts at 8am but i reached class at 9. heee!
and love relations was gooood.
we talked about sex, sex and more sex.
and then did practical.
it was okay, we did a major mistake!!!
hahahahaha! and then during IDEAs, we had to do another presentation.
SO MANY PRESENTATIONS LIAO.
and adham macan calling me in class. even though i told him im in class,
he wants me to get out and meet him. Siao.
i asked him to meet yan for training.

and then i met zlinny!
sorry ad aku tak turon. bukan paitao tauuuuu.
:P
i'll come down on wed!

and then we went bedok, ate at simpang bedok.
lin told me alot of stories, and i told her about ihsan. *coughs*
and then.... we went ssf.
met iqbal, shanky and my sayang. Lol.
okay and zulkhairil.
We had lots of fun. i laughed like shit.
KHAI GAYBOY SAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
but i like. i like you la khai. khaiii. khaiii!!!
hahahaha. ok golek.
khai send me home. then we went off our ways!

thanks guys for making my night a great one.

AND TODAY.
I JUST END MY PRESENTATION FOR DNA EXTRACTION AND GEL ELECTROPHORESIS!!
AND I SAID IN CLASS WHEN THE LECTURER WENT OUT AWHILE,

"FCUK, I SUCK SIAAAAA"

lol. and the class laughed like mad.
sorry guys. hehehehehe.
but the lecturer said our content was in depth and good.
Nyeh.
hopefully that helps in our grade.

anyways, we're having microbiology from 4-6 later.
GAH.
aku belom makan dari pagi. lapar sialzxzxzx.
okay bye.
i love you baby!

hello world.

my day went well even though there were some hiccups along the way.
i was supposed to meet nini at 2pm but then she said she cant make it,
when i was at my door about to leave.
so i didnt wanna stay at home after getting ready and all.
and i remembered aelfizzow and linny asking me out last night.

so i called ael and asked her where she is.
they were at SGH with kila and diniah.
so i made my way to outram.
and then meet ael, lin, kila, diniah, izwan and rizwan.
orang sakit die tak macam orang sakit uh. hahaha.
and then came atul, princess tamtam *ehem ehem LIN!* and pernicious.
and then lepaks for awhile at the kopitiam, gave my well wishes to izwan and we went off.

SERIOUSLY,
if you wanna go out with them, you need to have a PLAN!
lol. first from shisha, to karaoke, to LG.
then finally, we lepak-ed at esplanade with Zulkhairil.
man, khai cannot meet ael seh.
FIGHT LIKE FCUK MAN.
takot aku tengok.

and then had to rush to bishan for training.
and i dont know why khai insists on following me.
wanna meet my sissy uh! Gatal.
training was fun!
heee.
okay im tired already.

anyways, ni die budak yang suke use the word "fuck" when he's angry.
Same mcm aku.
K da bye.

hello semua.

aku is happy niari k?
senang kate this 14 days of the new year ive been happy.
much.
thanks to new environment, new friends, new boyfriend.. FAKE!

i think the start of the year is already a great start, a great beginning.
and ive learnt alot from school.
cell bio, basic micro, and love relations.

the first lesson of love relations, they showed us a film.
and in that film, there is a man and a woman.
they never said that they were a "thing" as in a couple.
the man loves the woman, really wants to be with her in a relationship,
but couldn't ask her that.
the woman said she'd rather not have a serious relationship as it disrupts the way of living.
but then they had this affair,
hold hands, kiss, sex in the bathtub..
but never called themselves a couple.
the man was flustered and the lady kept quiet.
the man asked her and she said we're nothing.
kiss and sex and sex again is nothing?!
and then they fought,
but in the end they got together again.

after loving that woman for i-dont-know-how-many-god-damn-years,
suddenly she turned up and said,
im already married.

what a total B!tcH!

false hopes and all shits.
it made me think of you.

when you said,
"I really love you, im not giving you hope."
and i said,
"WHAT?! not giving me hope?!"
you;
"Eh salah!!!!! False hopes!!"
me;
"Terperanjat berok aku!!'
you;
"We're gonna be together.. Just be patient and wait."

dont tell me holding hands with me and dot dot dot is not giving hope.
I'll shove anyone's ass with a dilddd if they say that to me.

moving on to lesson two.
i was given a slip of paper and in that paper it says,

"Why do long term relationship couples tend to get bored with each other? Why does that happen and how do we prevent it?"

Memandangkan perhubungan aku dengan sape sape saje je la eh wasn't very long,
its kinda hard for me to answer but i managed to fork out some words.

" To me, couples tend to get bored because they keep doing the same thing over and over again. like everytime they meet they will do bj only, next time bj again, no other style. "
HAHAHA FAKE!!!!!!!!!! okay serious.

Here are some key points from me and doctor love himself, that is, my lecturer;

"Couples are bored cause they dont change, the guys keep wearing the same old thing and the girl keeps having the same hairstyle. They also dont have a different thing to share about. They dont change at all. Another reason is because they stick too much with each other. Even going to the toilet must be together. To prevent this, they should do different stuff and share different hobbies, so they have something to talk about. And couples need to Grow, grow up along as you grow the relationship. keep changing, go someplace different, do something more exciting, so you always surprise your partner. dont be that same grey dull person.
Dont be with your partner 24/7! Let them have their space. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
And when you say you miss your partner, make sure you take the initiative to meet them.
Because you wont know the other line would have grown tired waiting for you".

this really make me think about us. cause ive already said i wanna do it right.
even though we're not officially together, theres this thing at the back of my head that says,
i wanna be with you today tomorrow and dot dot dot!
So far, we've met almost everyday, but i dont know why ive never get tired or bored of you.
We've gone to many places which i cant say where cause haiya.. its hard.
We've watched a movie only once,
walked more than i-dont-know-how-many kilometres,
sat by Singapore river and talk about our lives till night falls,
sat and talk again at the garden near my place,
watched a live football match together for ten minutes
and then leave cause its too noisy and the hot footballers were distracting me and i couldn't give my fullest attention to you.
fetching me from silat, from school, sending me home.

thank you.
even though i know we're going on an express train,
i feel like we should have done this a long time ago,
and i like it.
and im not rushing anything so dont rush.
im not looking for a status or a title that says im in a relationship with this guy that guy whoever.
as long as im with you, im happy.
and someone once told me if you loved someone, doesn't mean you have to own them.
but i know i'll own you someday. i know your heart's already mine.

anyways im writing this post to let everyone know,
im happy now.
dont worry about me.
Ive let go all my past behind.
Im starting fresh.
So are we cool?